After acknowledging the emptiness, the first thing to do is to start reconnecting with your emotions allowing yourself to feel again and allowing yourself to reconnect with your life energy. Many people who suffer from emptiness are trying to avoid or disconnect from their feelings.Īt one time your emotions became too overwhelming, overloading your system ,leading to shut down mode thus feeling empty. Escaping these feelings and the associated unbearable painful state of being, manifests itself in different ways, for instance, turning to alcohol and/or drugs to try to feel better even temporarily. Somehow in all this nothingness, there exists physical suffering.Įmotional suffering IS physical suffering. Others describe it as sheer boredom or emptiness, spiritual existential depression, or a loss of meaning and connectedness, both within and without – a nothingness. Some people don’t feel sad, per se, they just feel nothing they feel dead inside. The common perception of depression is that you are sad all the time. You can feel panicked, trapped and utterly alone, isolated and abandoned by your environment and yourself.ĭepression is many things to many people. It’s like your chest is a gaping void where there is nothing left but a painful, empty black hole. It's actually quite interesting and challenging work.It can feel like your entire perception of yourself is two-dimensional – like a picture rather than a living, breathing creature. But now that I've had a bit of experience and done a bit of training, I can see a future in it. I just never saw myself working from a desk. I now work as an intelligence analyst, which is of course a desk job. Regarding my new role, I enjoy it now, but it's taken me two years to accept that I'm no longer an operational duties cop. I'm also seeing a lot of strength, courage and generosity here, which is wonderful. So far I've found the people here to be very friendly and supportive. I thought joining the forums would be a good way to keep talking about things that come up. I stopped seeing her early this year and I confess I'm struggling a bit with that. It worked really well and we managed to get through all the trauma I'd been exposed to over my career. I started writing for my psychologist, would leave it with her then we'd talk about it the next week. I'm also very reserved and initially struggled to talk about what was going on with me. It's interesting to hear how helpful you've found creative outlets to be, it's the same with me. Thanks very much for your lovely message and for sharing your own story too. Thank you for sharing your story, and I look forward to reading more from you as you increase your involvement here. There are some truly lovely and helpful people here. I hope you find the forums as beneficial as what I have. But she only came onto the scene recently. I have no other support other than a very good clinical psych who keeps close tabs on me now. I have been here on the forums since late December and have found the support and understanding received here to be invaluable. Firstly for your own benefit, but also for so many others of us here who are inspired by your story. I greatly admire your attitude and commend you for coming here. Do you now enjoy your new role? It must be reassuring to have ongoing support within your organisation, just makes things much easier than it would be otherwise. You say its taken some getting used to, which I'm sure it has. Good on you for persisting with your police career, albeit in a different role. I have to say that your story gives me hope that things can improve, and you're proof of that. Many years of DV adds to the equation, so there is a bit to work on for me. So far I have not had any specific treatment for it, as its kind of been a matter of skirting around the edges a little with a number of other factors also coming into it. But I never sought help for it until earlier this year, at which time I was finally diagnosed. For me as a result of a particularly traumatic and life threatening event which took place some 20 years ago. I enjoy that, and can become totally engrossed in it. ![]() I've also recently started pursuing artistic pursuits - sketching etc. Its purely therapeutic and something my psych suggested. ![]() ![]() Not like me at all, and it never sees the light of day. Although it tends to be very dark, and often angry. ![]() I'm generally very quiet and reserved, so it helps to get things out through my writing. I also find writing helpful as a form of self expression. Exercise and meditation works well for most, and is something we should all strive to continue. Ongoing management is so important, and its fantastic that it appears you have the much needed support required. I'm really happy to read that you are managing your PTSD and associated depression reasonably well. I see that you have accumulated quite a fan club here.
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